30th July 2016

I was getting ready to go to an event celebrating miracle babies at the hospital where we did the IUI that resulted in our own little miracle. We were excited to take little A to see Dr A. So as usual we woke up bright and early. Little A was very cooperative and there were a lot of smiles and giggles all around. I gave little A his bath and got him ready and brushed his non existing hair :D. I needed to go to the toilet to wash my hands and put lip stick on and hubby was getting ready in the room, trying to pick out a shirt that would match little A. I told hubby to look after little A for a bit and off I went to the toilet. The door wasn’t even closed and I heard a thump and little A screaming. I rushed to see what was happening and my son was on the floor crying. He fell off the bed. My body shook as I scoop him into my arms. He was crying, I was crying. I am in tears as I type this even after almost 2 weeks since the incident. Apparently hubby had taken a pillow to barricade little A and rushed out to get his shirt. HE LEFT THE ROOM! I consoled little A. He cried for a bit then he was ok again. I looked for bruises and bumps but there were none. I called the hospital and talked to his pediatrician and he asked me to monitor little A and look for signs for the next 24 hours and if he was throwing up to bring him in. Little A was a little shaken but it didn’t take him long to start playing and being his happy self again. I felt so guilty. I still feel guilty. I hope we learn our lesson as parents. We can’t leave the baby alone not even for a second unless he is in a secure area and he cannot hurt himself. We lower his cot that very day. No more leaving little A on the bed. If needed he has to be in his cot. He doesn’t like it much in there, but as long as he is safe while mama needs to go pee or something, then I’ll just need to let him stay in there.

At 8 months, Little A is very mobile now. He crawls really fast and he likes to stand. I am excited with his new development but I’m awfully scared that he might hurt himself. I’m so shaken but I know I cannot be a mom that keeps my baby in a bubble. I contemplated on if we should tell my parents since I didn’t want to freak them out. Once I knew everything was ok with little A, I called mom to tell her what happened. Mom was sympathetic, I guess she knows how bad I was feeling anyway and didn’t want to pour salt to the wound. She told me stories how we fell quite a bit when me and my siblings were babies too and we turned out ok. I came to know later on that dad was mad at me for not being careful enough. I don’t blame him for being mad. I’m very mad at myself too.

Oh, later that day little A seemed to be his ole self again so we went to my cousin’s aqiqah for her new baby. Mom and dad were there too. There we met my cousin’s sister in law who was a pediatrician (just our luck!) We told her what happened and she was kind enough to give little A a once over. All seems fine. Little A is his active self. No signs that the fall hurt him in anyway Alhamdulillah.

For those who are wondering if I got mad at DH for leaving the room, I was really really really mad but I didn’t want to make an issue out of it. I know he feels bad but wanted to remain calm as I was already stressing and crying. We can’t both fall to pieces right?

I thought being a mom of a new born baby was hard, this is even harder. Since little A is more mobile I’m afraid that he would fall and hurt himself. I guess this is life from now on out. I will constantly be worried about my baby…. can you imagine how much I would worry once he becomes a teenager???? I aged a year just thinking about it 😰