I was looking at my favorites list on my internet explorer on my old PC today, revisiting fertility related blogs I used to frequent. Most of the blogs no longer exist or no new entries were written on them since for ages. Most, if not ALL of the blogs owners has graduated infertility and came out the other end with their beautiful babies. One of them has 2 and going on 3, another had a boy-girl twin. Then I looked through my own entries, looking at the dates. 2010? Is that right? Could it really be 5 whole years ago that I start going to see an RE? Has it been that long? Yep that long and no baby in my arms YET. I’m surprised at how unrelenting we are. Most would have quit by now and find other pursuit of happiness. Every time I think, “this is it, I can’t go on” another voice in my head keep saying “give it one more try”. I pray that our determination pays off in the end. I hope 2015 will bring us our joy.

Entahlah, kalau di fikir-fikirkan masih terlalu banyak yang N perlu berterima kasih dan bersyukur atas nikmat Illahi. Terlalu banyak yang N terima, much, much more than I deserve.

I went for my appointment with Dr A. This is my second time there so I’m still unsure of their procedure. I was worried that the wait would be long so I took the day off. I still have some days to exhaust so why not. We arrived at the clinic at around 8.45am, and got to see the Dr at around 10am and by the time we did the payment and got the meds from the pharmacy, it was 11am. So this will be my gauge for the upcoming appointments I guess.

We discussed the blood work I did; remember the longgggggg list of blood work the Dr ordered for me? Other than my elevated insulin level all the others are A OK. I passed the glucose tolerance test and all the blood tests for Lupus, Thyroid bla bla bla bla came back negative. I wonder what that means? I’m happy that I don’t have and underlying issues but at the same time, this does not explain why my babies die/stop growing early in my pregnancy. My insulin level is high and it bothers me. I don’t know what to do to make it better. I read that forgoing rice, and other white grains and limiting my carb and sugar intake is good but I am a carb addict. How will I survive?

The plan now is to go forward with an IUI next cycle. I’m happy with that. The Dr put me on Pergovaris 150ui from CD2 – CD 6. I’m hoping from the cycle (of cause I’m hoping for babies but) at the very least we will know how I respond to the meds if we decide to use it for IVF. The Dr says my left ovary is high up and if we were to do IVF there could be a possibility that we won’t be able to reach the follicles there. 😦 😦 😦 Dr P did not have any trouble getting to the ovaries during my previous IVF but I guess my parts has moved around in these pass year 😀 or may be when the ovaries are weight down by the growing follicles it’ll move down somewhat? Hmmmm