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I wrote a while back after my first miscarriage how I collected all the positive pee stick and my ultrasound images and put everything in a little pretty keepsake box. This time around I haven’t gotten to it yet. I have more sonogram pictures this time but they are kept safe between sheets of a novel I was reading. Life has moved on as it should I guess. Other than an embarrassing bout of uncontrollable sobbing at work after an unsuspecting remarks by a colleague and friend, I’ve been pretty stable. It’s not logical to dwell on something I can’t change. But logic and real life doesn’t always see eye to eye.

I’m planning a romantic getaway with DH to Europe in May. I’m spending all my free time planning the trip which means less time to dwell. We are also trying to be healthier and adding weekend runs/jog/walks to our weekly routine and I’m doing the J.M 30 day shr*d videos. It’s hard and I don’t know if I’ll make the week let alone a whole month, but we’ll see. We’ve decided that after 3rd cycle pass the D&C we will get our blood works done to check for genetic and clotting issues. We will go from there and decide if we want to give IVF another go. In my hearts of hearts, I’m wishing that we’ll get pregnant on our own before then. A girl could dream right?

Well, I’m praying that all our dreams come true, especially the impossible ones! Miracle do happen, and this time it will happen to all of us! (in sha Allah) Baby dust!




I found myself Google-ing D&C before the actual procedure. I wanted to be prepared I guess. First time with anything is scary and intimidating right? More so when it involves anesthetics and scrapers in your lady parts, ouch! What I learned from my “research” was that there is no knowing how your body will react. The procedure part is almost the same but the how you heal after is not quite as straight forward.

I arrived at the hospital nice and early. I started fasting from 7:30am. I had a piece of bread and my bp meds. I wasn’t in any mood to eat. The procedure was scheduled at 4pm. When I got to the hospital, I went to registration to get admitted. They took me to the ward to rest before the procedure. They did take my blood pressure a couple of time. I stayed in the room and watched TV like a sick person on the bed 😀

At 2:30 I got dressed in my surgical gown and the anesthetist dr came to introduce himself. Explained his part in the whole gig and left. I was really glad that they don’t put in your cannula until you are actually in the operating theater and about to go under. I hate those things! They wheel me to the OR and I remembered feeling cold. Dr P came in and said hi then they put the oxcigen mask on me and asked me to take a deep breath, at the same time the anesthetist put in my cannula which really hurts that was all I remembered. I woke up in recovery with a whole lot of semi-conscious people around me.

There was quite a bit of pain and discomfort after. The dr gave me pain meds to deal with this. I only took the pain pill for the first day. I didn’t need it after that. I did bleed and pass some clots until the next day like a heavy period. After that the bleeding subside quite a bit but I still bleed a very small amount until yesterday. That’s 2 weeks plus total.

The truth is I miss being intimate with my dh. There has been a lot of pain both emotionally and physically that has left us having to tip-toe around each other afraid of setting off a ticking time bomb. Now that the bleed has finally stopped and I’m done with my 2 weeks ‘pantang’ (confinement), I’m ready to practice trying again the old fashion way 😉 and like they say…practice makes perfect!