You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2013.

I’m doing ok. I asked the nurse at the clinic to call hubby when the result were in. I didn’t want to be the one who got the call. We were in the car heading home from a little window shopping when the call came and from the way dear hubby sounded (even though he was really trying to sound normal) I knew it was not good news. When we got home I cried my eyes out. All plans for our anniversary had to be put on hold for a bit as I wasn’t up for celebrating.

This time around the grieving period was short. I was feeling like myself again by night fall and we got to do some of the things planned for the anniversary wink**wink **!! I think I’m able to handle the BFN’s better this time around… but I don’t know if I’m up for more rounds of fresh IVF. We have 2 embryos on ice so the plan is, we will attempt the next cycle end of October. Hoping my body will cooperate and we will be able to have an un-medicated FET this time around.

AF came 3 days after stopping the progesterone and as always AF after IVF is super yucky painful!!! I’m planning to track ovulation this cycle (I haven’t done that in ages unless dr ordered) hoping to see if I could ovulate on my own and if I do we will be BD like bunnies 😉 It can’t hurt right?

I haven’t made a WTF appointment with the clinic. I guess I’d just come in on day 2 next cycle and we’ll just chat with the dr then. I’m keeping up with my folic acid and all the other vitamins I’m taking. I’m thinking of getting my Vitamin D level checked coz I’ve read that if you are deficient it could affect ovulation and implantation so I’d give that a go soon. It always feels good when I’m doing something…. anything other than just waiting.





It has been proven otherwise…. My beta was negative. 

I think I’m going to throw up a little. I wish it’s pregnancy related but it’s the nerves. In the beginning time seems to be crawling and now… I blink and the day is gone!!  I went groceries shopping after work yesterday and there was a pharmacy there. I asked DH if I should get some hpt and test early and he said it was up to me. I hate the “it’s up to you” answers coz I don’t know what I want. I thought it would be better if someone else made the decision for me.  We decided not to buy any and wait till beta. It’s 2 sleeps away…. Where did the time go? Why am I complaining?


Hubby took me out to eat at a fabulous restaurant yesterday to kick off our Anniversary celebrations. My brain has been in a haze these last few weeks that I’ve forgotten what months we are in??? Guess what, I just figured out that our anniversary is SATURDAY… yep… beta day… oh my!!!!! That’s just way too much pressure to put on one day!

It’s has been 8 days since these embryos has was placed back in me.  Around this time last cycle I started to get freaking out and broke down and did a hpt test at 7dp3dt. This time, I don’t have the urge to test at all (so far). I don’t even have one pee stick lying around the house which is a good thing coz I know I’ll cave if I find one. I think we will just wait for the blood test on Saturday.  I’m not paying much attention to the symptoms or lack of symptoms this cycle since comparing between my BFP IVF#1 and my BFN FET#1 there is no different in the way I felt. I had vivid dream both times,headache, cramps and tender bo*bs at one point or another… so I don’t think I can tell either way… so I won’t even try to analyze the twinges I’m feeling this cycle.

3 sleeps to go. For now I’m comforted by the notion that my itty bitty babies are snuggling tight…




’m 6dp3dt today and I’m finally back at work. I wasn’t able to write much during the week at home, not because there wasn’t time; there was plenty I assure you. I just got too lazy and I think I actually become one with the bed or the couch… not very proud of it but I am soooooooooooo well rested and that was the plan all along right?

So let’s play catch up.  We had the transfer on a Tuesday. It was a day 3 transfer since this was the clinic’s policy. Keeping my bladder full for the procedure was a little tricky since my ovaries were still angry from the retrieval and I was still bloated. I’ve come to know from experience that to have a full bladder I would need to:

  1. Empty my bladder before I leave the house
  2. Start drinking water on the way. I need to drink 500ml of water 45 to 1 hour before the procedure.

And the result is… perfectly filled bladder!! I didn’t even have to relief myself until after the hour was through.

The transfer was easy; this is my third so everything felt familiar. We transferred 2 beautiful 8 cells embryo. I asked the embryologist about the grade of the embryos and it was a grade 2, they say they rarely give a grade 1. Like last cycle, we have 2 embryos frozen, 1 – 8 cells and the other one is 7 cells. The ones that are frozen are given a grade 1. I was quite taken aback why they decided to freeze the embryos with better grade, the embryologist explained that a good quality embryo will more likely survive the freezing and thawing process and she assured me that the ones that were transferred today were also good quality embryos. We had 3 more embryos that were a little slow and they were going to grow it to day 5 to see if they were good enough to freeze.  After day 5 one out of the 3 made it to blastocyst but sadly they decided not to freeze the embryo since it didn’t make the grade. I was quite sad to hear that they wouldn’t freeze our little fighter but I am comforted by the fact that at least one of my embryos made it to blast.

I find myself being calmer this cycle. I am comforted by the fact that the outcome of this journey is in Allah’s hand and not mine. Both hubby and I have done our best so there are no regrets…                                               

Hoping your cycle is going smooth and we’ll have our rainbow babies soon…