I think I wrote a sometime ago about my sister-in-law who we hosted a reception for some time in September, I got news that she is just found out she’s 8 weeks pregnant… I’m so happy and excited for her, but I found myself crying. How could feeling happy and sad exist at the same time? I’m happy for her but I felt so sorry for myself. Why can’t it be as easy for me? Now I feel bad for feeling bad, this is not about me!arggg!!! I don’t like feeling like this. I want to be a person who rejoices in other people happiness and most time I am that person. But have gone through so much in the TTC department that it is difficult to hear good news and not reflect on how much I want what they have. I must sound so childish right now.

In the car on the way to work today, DH showed me a picture of a cute little girl, a daughter of a friend who also when through infertility… once upon a time, things like this would give me hope that miracle do happen… but now I just feel that miracles happens only to other people… not to me.

Soooo sorry for this pity party. I just needed to rant. 

Sorry you have to read this 😦