I’m not 100% but I’m OK. There are days when I break down and think about the “what if’s”. I try to limit those days and look forward. My body is not back to where it should be. I’ve been bleeding on and off since the miscarriage and it’s been 3 weeks since I started. I’ve been on the lookout for anemic symptoms but everything looks ok so far. I had a dr appointment last Saturday, the dr wanted to make sure that my lining is all shed and hcg is out of my system. Everything looks fine. We also talked about what’s next.  We have 2 frosties waiting for us. The dr recommended that we wait 2 cycles before we start, which will be end of September. Hubby and I have been talking about it and we were planning to try again October after we get my sister-in-law’s wedding out of the way.

It’s good in a way that we have a plan forward. At least there is something to look forward to.  So right now I’m still on my folic acid; planning to lose some weight (ha!) and get myself healthy for our next go. I asked the dr about the possibility of this happening again (the miscarriage) and he was very frank with me. He told me 20%. Even though we have my insulin under control; I am 35 so I have my age against me. Weight is of coz always a factor.  20% …that’s scary!

I’m working on a box for my baby, to put all my positive pee stick and the sonogram I have. Right now I carry the sonogram in my wallet so it stays close. People may think it’s silly but I don’t care. I find myself wanting to talk about the miscarriage. Wanting to validate that it happened, I was pregnant… my baby was inside of me even for a very-very short time.  Even for that very short time, it made a huge difference in my life and I will forever be grateful.

 Sending lots of love out there through cyber space…