I had an early appointment with the doctor today. Thinking back even before arriving at the Dr’s office I was a little on the edge. I usually keep calm most of the time. I’ve been having some nagging pain on my sides that’s making me think that the cyst is still there and has grown somehow. We arrived pretty early, took the time to read the papers… didn’t seem like there’s too many people in the waiting room. I was called to come in to see the Dr on the other side of the room.

There are 2 doctors in the practice; my doctor; Dr P and a nice lady doctor; Dr H that just joined some months ago. I was surprise that I was called to see her instead of my usual Dr. Questions were running in my head. I came in and the Dr introduces herself. I sat and said hello… then she started with “What can I do for you?” WHAT??? I’ve been coming to this practice for a year and I’m in the midst of starting IVF and you ask me that? I couldn’t speak… didn’t she at least look at my charts? Do I have to explain everything again?  Are we starting all over again… have Dr P given up on me and passed me along? I felt abandon… I told her that I’m supposed to be Dr P’s patient. She acknowledges and told me that she’s with the practice now and that working with Dr P or her would be the same. I brushed my frustrations aside and started to explain to her my case. I told her that I have been on OCP for 16 days now, I had a cyst and the Dr P has asked me to come in today to see if the cyst is now gone. She then did the scan for me… the cyst has shrunk to 16mm from 34mm on my previous scan then she said that since the cyst is still there, we would abandon this cycle and start on my next cycle. I asked if I would be put on anything for the next cycle and she said no… I told her if we waited for my next cycle I might get the cyst again since that has been the “trend” these last few cycles.  Then she suggested we change protocol… come to see her on day 1 of my next cycle she explained a bit but I have forgotten what she said. I don’ t think I was even listening. She wanted to consult Dr P beforehand. She left the room…I feel like my head exploded…I started to cry…I couldn’t believe what was going on… I feel like Dr P has abandoned me and thrust me with a brand new Dr that seems to know nothing about me. We are starting back to square one with all I can think of was I can’t go through with this… I want to quit. The Dr came back in, saw I was upset and told me not to be… she sees people with cysts all the time and still got pregnant. I told her it’s not that…I was feeling like I’m being passed around and was not comfortable with it. I told her has nothing to do with her skills as a Dr. I just don’t appreciate being passed around like this without even being informed. I was caught so off guard. My husband sits there clearly uncomfortable that poor dear; but I’m sure he felt a lot like I did. Dr H assured me that Dr P didn’t abandon me… he was really tied up today so she is picking up his slack.. I wonder why I was one of the people that got sent the other way… I’m suppose to be on the OCP for another 10 days and have an appointment to see the Dr next week. In the mess of it all; I didn’t even ask who I’ll be seeing next week. Now it’s all I can think of. I will call the Dr office today and see if we can sort it out.

The truth is… eventhough what went on today wasnt the end of the world, it felt a little like it. It feels like we are starting on the wrong foot somehow. I know I shouldn’t put too much into this one incident but…